Kinship care – Mental health

Kinship carers have spoken and we are critically overwhelmed daily. When our main focus is our Kinship child it can be hard to focus on ourselves. As carers, We are often left at the bottom of the pile. Why is it so hard to prioritise ourselves you ask? Because quite simply there is too much to manage by ourselves. We are often left alone with what feels like a mountain to-do list, and an uphill battle with the process of Kinship care. Adulting is hard enough sometimes, we have to learn to cut ourselves some slack. 

We have jobs, children, social services visits, contact with birth parents to manage, school meetings as well as our usual day-to-day house chores and more… 

I only found a healthy balance in my life recently, when I realised that my breaking point had long been overdue. I needed a work/life balance, a kinship child/myself balance and my mental health needed to be focused on. 

How can I support a child, when I feel so unsupported myself? I needed and longed for a change, no matter how guilty I felt at the time for admitting it. A happier carer was what I needed to be, how could I do this long-term if not? 

Where can Kinship carers turn to for help and support? 

• Podcasts – David Simpson – Kinship Care Liverpool on Spotify. 
• Support group: Contact Kinship Carers UK charity for a support group in your local area. 
• Journaling – Keep a diary, it feels good to let things out! 
• Setting aside time for yourself – This could be as little as 10 minutes. But it needs to be your time. ]
• Mindfulness – Check out podcasts, blogs and websites. It helps. 
• Facebook support groups – Type in Kinship care support you will find plenty of groups with people just like you, to who you can vent and relate. 
• Do one thing you enjoy every day – It could be listening to your favourite song, or baking your favourite bun, it could be having a long soak in the bath. Write it down and cross it off, visually see that you had “your time”. 
• Know your cut-off point – After 7 pm no more emails, or phone calls. Make a similar set up for the weekend to ensure you give yourself a break from the duties. Everyone is allowed a rest, give yourself one. Better yet, make a schedule for the week and block off all the time you have remaining. Even if its 5 minutes inbetween other tasks. 

Im speaking directly to you the “reader” of this post. Please know you are doing your best, and to continue doing your best you need to look after you. Don’t forget about “you”, you are a vital part of this journey. “YOU” matter and never feel guilty about saying it out loud. In fact stand up and say it now with me, “I matter” shout it if you can! You are still your own person, you still have hopes, dreams and hobbies just like everyone else does. Even if they feel unattainable right now, there may come a time when you can regain some focus on this. Take each day as it comes. Remember who you are, what you do and that you deserve happiness! 

My question for you is what can you do starting today to make yourself feel better?