Kinship carers need their own goals!

“You will return to education at some point I know it”

Caring for my siblings was always important to me. I’m the eldest of many children who I have always tried to protect. Acting as a second parent, and sometimes the sole one it was hardly surprising that when as a family we faced hard times my hand would be up first.

I’d be lying, if I said I hadn’t missed out. The impact on my education cannot be understated. I left high school with not many GCSEs. My attempt to retake them took a backseat when my mother suffered poor mental health, and I was needed at home due to the death of my sister at just 5 weeks old. Due to further circumstances I found myself unable to finance college, as I moved out of the family home age 17. I gained an apprenticeship age 18, and found continuous employment from then on. Did I take jobs I didn’t like? Certainly. Did they put food on my table and clothes on my back? Certainly. Was I fulfilled? No.

See this was the issue I couldn’t apply for the jobs I wanted due to my weak education. I worked 3 jobs at one point with the goal of returning to education with some savings. This however was put on hold age 22, when I took care of my sister then age 4.

Fast forward 8 years, and I’m now working in a field I enjoy. It’s deeply centred around children, something that comes natural to me as a person. I enjoy it, but I’m entering at base level, due to education, but with experience both life and work based.

Am I going to stop here? No. Is it the right time to move forward? Maybe. Can I wait any longer? No. Here I am aged 30, and finally undertaking the education I should of had 14 years ago. I’m genuinely a mix of positivity and dread about it, I work full time and have a challenging home life with many things to juggle. I have no desire to quit though, but do get that feeling of “I have taken on too much”.

I’m not seeking to stop here either, as my goal is to enter further education and seek a degree. I was always off putted before by the financial factors, that I would be selfish pursuing something for myself. I’ve changed my mind on this, surely the better I do the better my siblings do too? Setting a good example is important to me, and despite not having one I always express the importance of a good education to my siblings who don’t know how soul destroying it is to take jobs because you have no other option.

So here I am now finally putting myself first. To build a life I wanted for myself. Saying no to putting my own dreams on hold for the first time. The fear of failing has gone, I don’t fear failure I fear becoming stagnant and too excepting.

Shout out to my college tutor 13 years ago who said I would return to education when the time is right and informed me she went back to education herself at a later age. I’ve always felt inspired by her story, but now is the time to make my own.

So here’s a little nudge to all the Kinship carers like myself, who may feel a longing to reach a goal. Do it! You will never know unless you try.