This blog was first written in 2018, but had proven popular so I have re-edited and posted it once again.
An article in 2018 published by the Guardian, certainly brought out the worst in some folk! This was an article highlighting issues in Kinship care and hitting the nail on the head! The article highlighted the struggles of Kinship carers and the financial implications of care. Explaining the struggles of kinship care and practical support we often don’t receive to support our little ones.
I was disgusted to see the comments in droves from uninformed people spilling out their absolute drivel! If you haven’t guessed already I’m pretty disgusted! One comment I had to read over a few times as I couldn’t quite believe what I had read, and was searching for some kind of typo. This was the comment that made my head spin. “Put them in care then”
Let’s just send 162,000 currently in kinship care to foster care. All because we shouldn’t help Kinship carers financially. This could never happen practically either. If this person was a bit more educated on the issues they would know there is a shortage of foster carers in the UK. There aren’t 162,000 foster carers available.
Another issue that concerned these commenters was their “tax” and how it would be spent. Why would the focus even be on the money? Money over a child remaining with their natural family. This statement is also incorrect, foster carers are entitled to a fostering allowance. Kinship carers are not automatically entitled to any support, and when they are it’s “means-tested”
How does that make any difference in the amount of tax you pay? Answer It doesn’t, as the costs would be the same or significantly less for a kinship carer as it’s means-tested support. Many kinship carers like myself do not receive any financial support from the local authority.
“Why should I pay for children from my tax because of drugged-up parents and young mums?” Talk about penalising a specific group of people to make a point. Some young mums do a fantastic job at raising their children, and these children aren’t always removed from their parent’s care solely because of drugs either! Some are placed, because of entirely unpreventable circumstances like the death of the child’s birth parents. Every case is different, why is the parent circumstance the focus here and Not the vulnerable child?
The focus on the parents and their backgrounds shouldn’t matter. We are talking about CHILDREN, children who are vulnerable in our society and have had huge changes in their life that they were emotionally unprepared for. Where is the compassion for vulnerable children in our society?
Next statement: “I wouldn’t need money to care for a child in my family, why do people expect handouts?” Although I’m wholeheartedly glad you would step up if you were in this situation. I also hope you have the financial security to back up your statement. It isn’t as simple as just taking in the child. Changes to your working life will happen which will reduce your income. Your outgoings will increase whilst your earnings decrease, leading to a shortfall. Raising a child is expensive and in these economic times, the pressure of poverty is getting to these families. Even financially stable families have had to make cutbacks.
How do you suggest some people finance these children that land on their doorstep overnight? Some are unable to return to work. These carers find themselves now reliant on universal credit, and they are experiencing poverty. As a kinship carer, you do not receive any paid statutory leave either, whilst you settle in the child. This means many carers are forced to take time off unpaid whilst they make crucial arrangements for the child/children. The impact on finances can not be overstated.
How would you feel if you had no savings, unsecured employment and you were asked to care for these children knowing full well it will put them in poverty? The care system seems to be the answer again, doesn’t it? however this again COSTS and is facing SHORTAGES. Wouldn’t it make sense to support the carer so the children can remain with their families? Offer kinship carers the same as foster carers to maintain a long-term home for the child. This would mean paid statutory leave, an allowance and a range of support and services for the child. This is what kinship charities across the UK are campaigning for.
If you have read all of this and said no to any of these points I have raised, then I want you to sit down and imagine you are a child again. You have no parents you have been sent to live with strangers in foster care. You have a grandparent back home that you would want to live with, and your grandparent would happily take you in. Practically placement wouldn’t work as your grandparent doesn’t have the financial means to support you. So the local authority places you with a foster carer who receives a fostering allowance rather than support your grandparent willing to provide you with a loving home and familiarity. How would you feel?
I hope in the 5 years that have passed there has been a shift in these views, as society has become much more aware in recent times. However, the awareness of Kinship care is still minimal. We still read comments like this today, that discourage and upset us. We hope this changes for our families, as we need legislation in place that supports us and most importantly puts the child at the heart of care.
I hugely commend and respect foster carers for the amazing things they do for children. This post is not intended to take away the invaluable impact they have on society. I believe foster carers and kinship carers can support one another and provide solutions together for these children and their families. But I do support children staying within the family if they have the option to do so.
Do you support kinship care?
Confessions of a Kinship Carer 